Not Necessarily The News In Hoke

By Ken MacDonald

As I was eating my chicken and dumplings at The Edinborough Restaurant Thursday at lunch with Monica, Donna the waitress stopped her hurried walk at my table, reached inside my jacket, which was lying on the seat beside me, and tucked an air horn into it.
Not something you see every day, I guess, but hey, its Raeford.
She leaned over and said, I need to get to that real quick when Johnny Melton leaves.

I continued eating and talking to Monica.
I didnt ask, but Donna felt the need to stop occasionally and explain the situation while Johnny visited at Jim Wades booth.
Henry McInnis brought the thing in at breakfast, she said, and blew it inside the restaurant, scaring everyone in a 15-mile radius. Another waitress—Kaye—was the intended target, I understood Donna to say, and after the first blast, Kaye somehow wrestled the horn away from McInnis and put it in her purse for safe keeping.
If I have the story straight, Johnny secretly dug inside the purse and fished it out. Then he snuck up behind Kaye and gave it another blast.
(Knowing Kaye, I would have like to have seen that.)
But somehow Donna got hold of the horn and now at lunch she was plotting to sneak up behind Johnny once he exited through the front door and give him a taste of his own medicine horn.
Johnny was especially loquacious Thursday, and after a 10-minute visit with the Wades, he stopped by Tommie Nivens booth. Donna was finding it hard to do her job and watch for Johnnys exit. It became apparent to me that the whole restaurant knew what was about to happen, because everyone was watching carefully and trying to apprise her of his proximity to the door.
Suddenly he got up, walked out the door and made his way to the parking lot. Donna realized it from the rear of the store, came running, grabbed the horn from my jacket and ran out the door after him.
WHAAAAAA!, I heard as I reached the front window to watch.
I thought Id been hit by a train! Johnny exclaimed.
And people say nothing ever happens in Raeford.